I'm Out of Control!

As I settled onto the Little Pigeon River with 22 other ladies recently I quickly learned that I had never been as aware of how short my arms and legs are and how completely and utterly out of control I was in a lime green tube much too small for my big behind. I was not in control of my surroundings.

You know, There are times in my life where I immediately understand and hear what God is saying, and times where lessons build on top of one another until He is ready to show me something and my memory is pricked as if by a small electrical shock. Its then He chooses to remind me suddenly of all the seemingly random conversations that have taken place and are tied together, the items I have taken time to read that are now revealed to hold a common theme I didnt recognize before, and the circumstances that have happened that are finally set before me in a timeline that uncovers the lesson like a sweet piece of chocolate I have craved.

As we began our tubing journey on this Saturday morning and I watched the faces of my friends old and new go from fear and excitement to uncertainty and back to immediate fear for some, I realized that I was witnessing another perfect picture and analogy of our journey with Him and with one another in this life. We were quickly coming to understand we could not control this adventure.

Oh what a lesson this day revealed!

When I have realized I am out of control I have reacted in many different ways.
Sometimes I've raced backwards over a sharp drop in the current, backwards even with no sense of what was ahead, and I have panicked at first. I remember what it felt like as I was I was losing my Dad to Alzheimers, as I was losing my job, as I have faced losing relationships that required me to choose to not enable their bad decisions and what that could mean, the way my heart lurched the first time my son told me he was praying about enlisting in the marines a few months back, and the night the recent April storms hit and water began pouriong in every room as the hail rained down and I heard the wind pulling at my home. I felt swept away as I did at times in the river the other day. I flailed about trying to simulate control and trying to determine on my own what to do first instead of listening intently and purposefully for Him. But I had to trust, and when I finally chose to let go and let Him be God He fulfilled a promise given
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 NIV

When I have drifted off path and found myself becoming entangled in shallow water and rocks in my way, He has shown me He knows when I need a quick rescue in my tender state. It's then He sends someone by in their own lime green tube to grab my hand and puls me along back to His current. Like when a friend has gently showed me I am being selfish, or lovingly brought to my attention that I need to turn back before stumbling over something I was placing before God in my life.
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Jeremiah 1:8 NIV

Then there are times He required I step off the ledge in faith and depend on Him to provide and do as He asked. To get up out of the swirling eddy I was caught up in - a strong, but wrong current for me - and literally walk out of it in His strength and to meet head on what He had already equipped me for. I have met impactful people I wouldn't have otherwise, been placed in ministry I never dreamd possible, and experienced Him like I never had before all beause I said Yes and let go of my fear!
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11 NIV

Sometimes I have find myself having to be patient in a calm pool of almost no obvious current at all - waiting on Him to move me and coax me when its His perfect timing, even as I watch others joy riding past me with their arms in the air - thats their journey at that given moment and at some point they will watch me fly by in abandonment! As I wait on my next path, career, ministry today I am reminded that...
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9 NIV

I understood as I watched us all bob and race along on this day that we are all on the same jouney, just at different places, and we switch roles and our paths intermingle in many different ways and at many different points.
I have never been in control. Hard to swallow sometimes. When I try to do anything in myself I find eventually a treacherous place of panic. If I let Him do what He is trying to do and just hang on to the big green tube in trust, then the peril turns into a thrill ride that we're on together that He manuvers me through safely in His hand
This is what the LORD says — your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go" Isaiah 48:17

If I trust Him for my salvation and eternity, then can't I can surely trust Him in my every day?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5 NIV

What blessed me so much that day on the river as as we exited for the day was the faces now reflected excitement, release, and even an afinity for the war wounds some endured along the way as they learned to relax and let go :)

I was utterly and totally out of control and I loved it - the true freedom of a real adventure!

Joyful on the Journey,
Marisa

My Rewards Card

I had a sweet surprise yesterday. I had lunch scheduled with a new friend at Panera and as I was getting ready I remembered I had a "My Panera" rewards card I had gotten some time back and never registered. I had a few extra minutes before I left home so I pulled out the old laptop and went to their web site and quickly did so.

On my last few previous visits to Panera the nice person ringing my order up would ask me for the card but I would have to tell them each time "I haven't registered it yet". They would proceed to tell me "that's your card, go online, claim it and you can get the great random surprise rewards that come with it".

So what I noticed was when I was online registering the card was that the information told me that I would want to check back from time to time to keep up with what surprises might randomly be loaded onto my card at any time. Well to my delight, by the time I left home and got to Panera I already had one on there! When I placed my order, the nice person ringing me up asked me as usual for my 'My Panera' card. I presented it, he swiped it, and said "You have a reward to claim Mrs Lykins - you can have a free pastry or cookie of your choice".

Wow!!! Something I didn't do anything for it really, no grand task on my behalf, no specific dollar amount tied to it. No great effort of my part. I just acknowledge I wanted the card and BAM - I got a surprise, a reward, a gift.

It's sort of like Jesus. I just acknowledge Him and my need for Him and BAM - I receive the instant gift of Salvation. No task to perform, no works, no money, no real effort on my part aside from acceptance, saying I wanted it. Its like I have a "My Jesus" card. When I feel weak, afraid, lonely, worried, consumed with anything I am trying to do or get through in my own strength I can go to Him, pray (swipe the "My Jesus" card so to speak), and just allow Him to reload that card with His strength, wisdom, love, and courage.

But then I also thought about those around us, walking beside us in church, at work, in school, in the local grocery store, some complete strangers... they have a card too. They need it reloaded. And Jesus can use me to help do that. He can use them to help refill mine. A kind word, spontaneous service, a hug, an anonymous surprise gift.

What if the older gentlemen in the aisle next to me who looks a little lost is discovering what it feels like to shop for the first time since losing the love of his life? He could probably really use a sweet word from a stranger - a surprise loaded on his card that leaves him feeling less alone as he makes his way home.
Maybe at church that young woman walks in that I see every week, but this time there's a different look on her face. A look of strain, stress, maybe desperation. What if I take just a moment and reload her card with a hug and a whispered prayer? Now she can enter in more open to finding the peace and rest waiting on her.

John 14:12 "I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father."

Proverbs 16:24 "Kind words are like honey--sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."

Look for a way to reload someones card every day. Give that random sweet surprise, that reward, just because... because they are each one whom God loves.

Marisa

Bad Attitude and All

Well, I showed my rear end several times over these last few days friends. I just can't put it more simply than that...
have you ever been there?
You know, when as the very words leave your mouth, as the actions of your body language and movements occur, and as that look sets itself up way too easily on your face, you realize that yes, you are in fact showing your hind-end and you just don't seem to be able to stop yourself.
Yep. Hmmm-mmm.
In the middle of these last few days I had a chance to chat with a friend who is struggling with this same issue in a way. Not every day mind you, but more frequently than she cares to, more often than she ever has before in her life. I can relate. Its not every day for me by any means. But I hate it when it happens.
I despise that feeling, even as it happens. Maybe you know what I'm talking about? My face feels flushed. My heart speeds up. My throat seems to want to all of the sudden swallow way more than normal. My ears feel hot. My mouth gets dry. I seem to need to clear my throat, even cough.

Gee - you'd think with all that going on there would be no way I could still manage to sputter out the stupid or mean or hurtful words, the harsh tones, set my hands on my hips, or give THE look... But noooo, I'm a real trooper! I can hang right in there with the best and get the job done!

So, I have some apologies to make. To those in the line of fire, most of all to my God, but not the least of which is to myself. See I've let Satan get a hold of me afterwards even more strongly than he did when it happened. Because for several days I've let him use it against me to make me feel worthless and unlovable. Laying in the dark thinking things like they might never forget my attitude or words or tone, that they might love me less, but most of all that I was less in the eyes of My Jesus.
So tonight I stand on several things my Gods Word tells me, and I am reminded:

We are already God's children, though what we will be hasn't yet been seen. But we do know that when Christ returns, we will be like him, because we will see him as he truly is. 1 John 3:2

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

And when I feel weary from the heaviness of what I may do:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us Ephesians 3:20

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:15-17

Friends, we are more than a conquerors - we are His! We are being made Holy as He is Holy! He is not through with us yet!

Be blessed,
Marisa

Summer Things and Places to Go

East TN is blessed with the mountains and lakes we love, but aso with a lot of smaller parks and places to hang out. Here's a link to the Knoxville Parks and Rec site to find splash pads, disc golf parks, and places to play volleyball.
http://www.knoxcounty.org/parks/rec_activities.php





Grab your blankets, lawn chairs, and picnic basket and head to The Cove at Concord Park for this season's Second Saturday Concerts. Knox County Parks and Recreation has announced the line up for the free concert series presented the second Saturday of June, July, August and September, from 6 until 8 p.m http://www.knoxcounty.org/parks/



But it's also a great place to poke around and find other cool TN State Parks and activities you may not know about... like the Rhododendron Gardens Festival at Roane Mountain in Northeast TN this weekend!
http://www.knoxcounty.org/parks/other_area_parks.php







Find somewhere to explore and get out there and gave some fun!
Marisa

Living in a Cocoon

Most of us would hear that statement 'living in a cocoon' and get a very negative or constricting feeling. And to be honest I think in some cases those would be a pretty accurate and correct feeling. In the church we sometimes tend to shelter ourselves from the world around us to a point of not even being able to be a light in it.
But I was reading an entry in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young this morning that really paralleled a comment only moments earlier on my Facebook post. I mentioned I hadn't slept well and was tired. Someone mentioned they had awoke several mornings around 3am and had heard that's the time God wanted to talk with us and wondered what He wanted to say. I responded that if we will just still our spirits we can always hear what he's already saying. Then I opened the devotion and saw these words in the first two lines on the days entry...
"I Am All Around You, like a cocoon of Light. My Presence with you is a promise, independent of your awareness of Me."
He is indeed talking today :)
The entry focuses on how worry can block our pipeline to His presence. I agree. But as I came back to those first few lines my mind focused on just the simplicity of those words themselves.
HE IS. No matter what. Independent of my awareness. He doesn't need me. No need for my response to Him for His presence to be. No need for a reaction or movement from me to exist in any moment of time. God has no dependence on man to work, to create, to speak, or to be. As I sat on my couch thinking on this I realized I was literally humming the song "You are God Alone" where the first verse says this:
You are not a God created by human hands
You are not a God dependant on any mortal man
You are not a God in need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is

How many times do I feel I have to totally set my self a part to hear from Him? Don't get me wrong, I do think that is absolutely necessary. Time to only hear His voice. Time to be so removed from all distractions so I can know the deep life changing direction I need from Him to make decisions, and to learn the intimate things that He wants to use to move profoundly in my life and relationships - this requires that I achieve a level of communion with Him that is beyond the every day.

But to live in a cocoon of His presence daily, so that at any moment I can just turn and listen to what He is already speaking and asking of me? That's not restricting - that's freeing!

I remember the comfort as a child knowing my Dad was watching me from the porch as I played, and the security that it gave me that he was right there near by.
I would be playing games, kick ball, or riding my bike. But do you know that I remember the one thing that made me feel especially secure was when I could hear His voice? I'd be laughing, running, and jumping, but when I heard him in the background talking with my mom or his friends that made me brave.

John 10:14 says - I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me

Isaiah 30:21 tells us - Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

I mentioned above He doesn't need me. That's true. BUT HE WANTS ME!!
He is always closer than the very skin that covers my bones and tissue, His presence is in me, around me and through me. And He is always talking. It's up to me to learn Him so well that I can at any given moment tap in to what He is saying, doing, and giving me the chance to be a part of.
I want to walk, run, sit, lay, and live wrapped up in the cocoon of His light and presence that frees me to truly live. His cocoon is one that allows me to evolve, grow, and become safely what He wants me to be - knowing I am on His path, speaking His words, seeing with His eyes, and touching with His hands!


Marisa

Chick Chat with Marisa

Don't Build a Nest in a Tote Bag

Yesterday morning I washed one of my huge canvas totes that I use when we spend time on the boat, go to the beach or travel anywhere that I need bulky space taking items like large fluffy towels or such to go with us.
In fact that's what I packed in them this time - large fluffy beach towels for the lake over Memorial Day weekend. But when those came back home in our dirty clothes bag I used it to put our unused food items in and something leaked. Something very stinky that I suspect was was the container of onions and peppers for the fajitas we didn't make. So I placed the bag in our washer. But it being the large bulky item it is, I decided to dry it by hanging it outside.
Last night before bed I checked it but even the intense heat of yesterday hadn't dried it thoroughly enough so I decided to leave it hanging for a few more hours over night on our side entry stoop.
This morning after I had a couple cups of coffee I remembered it was still out there and decided to go check it again. Imagine my surprise to find strands of moss, grass, a few small twigs and two of those things that fall from certain trees each spring that we always referred to as 'helicopters' when I was a kid.
I stood there peering down in the bag for a few moments honestly perplexed. I mean it was hanging on the storm door handle. How did the stuff get in there? Why? It's a very thick heavy canvas material. What in the world?
Then it dawned on me. Birds!
And I stood there on my stoop in the morning sun imagining how some small bird, or pair of birds, worked so extremely diligently to attempt to get enough materials in this canvas bag hanging on our door to build a nest.
With the canvas handles both looped close together on the door knob it couldn't have been easy even if the bird(s) didn't enter the bag themselves. It was still quite a job either way. How strong was the desire to be secure and have place to feel at home and at peace that they would risk being at our kitchen door so many times where we come and go? Did they work at it even in the cloak of darkness? How did they go about deciding what materials to gather? But most of all in my heart I was questioning with bewilderment - why rush to nest in the bag instead of in the huge strong provided silver maple tree just a few feet away, up high where it would be safe?
Then a piece if scripture came to my mind... something about a sparrow choosing to nest on the altar of God. What was that? It was in the old testament for sure. Somewhere in Proverbs or maybe Psalm?
So I got to digging and sure enough there it was - Psalm 84:3 "Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar"
What a wise choice - no more a secure location could be found!
I had lunch with a friend yesterday and part of our conversation immediately sprang back to mind as well in that moment. We were talking after lunch about trusting God with our inadequacies, with our secrets revealed, and with our children - with everything. And how when we do that its just the most blessed feeling of security and provision that there is!
We had been talking about some of the times in our lives that we each realized just how trustworthy He truly is.
As I sat with my bible open to His Word I began praising Him and thanking Him for this full circle moment for me! As I face more uncertainties, I am grateful He used that lunch time conversation yesterday to encourage me that He is STILL THERE. That we can do ALL things with a supernatural strength when we place our security and trust in Him!
And here He was confirming for me with this small unfinished nest in a canvas tote bag what happens if I don't think through living in a safe place, when my home and heart are depending on perilous things. I must always make my safe place in Him. I must place my heart, my life, my family, and my all in His care. I must live as near to His altar as possible at all times, where the ultimate sacrifice was made. Because that is the only true place of rest, joy, peace, life, protection for me, for my family, the only place of blessings, strength, and of provision

Read the song with me that David wrote so long ago in Psalm 84...


1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
2 I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.
3 Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!
4 What joy for those who can live in your house, always singing your praises.
5 What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
7 They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.
8 O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies, hear my prayer. Listen, O God of Jacob.
9 O God, look with favor upon the king, our shield! Show favor to the one you have anointed.
10 A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.
12 O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.

As I pulled the pieces of the unfinished nest from the bag and prayed for the birds to find a safer choice, I then prayed for myself, my family, my friends, my church, for you - that we all would truly seek to nest around HIS altar, where the protection of the blood of Christ, the power of our sovereign Heavenly Father, and the wisdom of the ages can house us and keep us!

Gifts

I'm drinking my coffee on the couch this morning still thanking God for a relaxing, much needed long holiday weekend with my husband where we could just be quiet and do nothing. I remember over the last few years many times praying for days like that because they always seemed to be rushing by so very quickly. I loved it and am missing it greatly of course, but am also expressly aware I need to relish this specific gift of right now - the blessing of some lunches and coffee with friends, reading, thinking, relaxing, getting some house cleaning done, being present in the moment, and getting through the storm damage/coming changes with our home with my sanity intact!
Isaiah 65:24 - I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!
I am simply reminded today that answered prayers dont look familiar, but they are answered none the less by a familiar friend and Savior who knows us better than we know ourselves :)

Marisa

Chick Chat with Marisa

Seeking What Isn't Hidden

In listening to two different people speak in two days I heard a common phrase and thought by both... "seek the face of God, not just His hand".
Now when I have things like this happen, I try my best to really pay attention. What are the similarities if any in the people? In the context or situations? Was there a common third party around both times? You know, any questions I can ask that will reveal the lesson, the message, or the heeding whether intended for me or for someone else. To see what exactly God might be saying.
Earlier tonight I looked up a couple of verses God seemed to be leading me to.
Psalm 105:4 says Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.
'Paniym' is the Hebrew word in this verse for face. That word means "face, or faces", the "person", or "presence". (I love the plural use of faces here, as in the Holy Trinity, the three complete persons of the God Head!)
And 1 Chronicles 16:11 which is Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.
This verse also uses, in the original Hebrew, the word 'Paniym'. Further research revealed this word also means "before and behind", and "from beforetime"
WOW! What a magnificent and humble reminder as I ran my finger along the lines on the page - His person, His presence, has been since before time.... always His presence has been. That's a lot of person, a lot of presence.
And as long as He has been and will be, ever before and for ever more, to seek THAT Holy presence and person of God... WOW!!!! That's huge. That's an ever evolving, never ending journey. Thats a story with unlimited chapters and words and phrases to drink in. It's to become more familiar with who God is. What His eyes are delighted by. What they see. To understand what makes the laugh lines appear at the corners. What His ears are tickled by. What they long to hear. What God's very lips delivers in so many ways. Where His kisses of blessings are. What His word says. How He speaks in ever thing that exists. The very features and facets of His face if you will :)
I am overwhelmed!!!
Two definitions for the Hebrew word 'Darash' (Seek) are "to frequent", and "look for with care"... there's an urgency in that to me!
This is what I feel Him whispering to my very soul to remind me tonight - to earnestly seek His very face and presence, to want and allow Him to be both truly before me and behind me - my provision and my Jehovah Jireh, to know Him even more intimately, to allow His very presence to be so deeply embedded in my every moment, to remember that when I allow the ultimate romance that is ours and ours alone blossom it's then that I will see His hand truly moving in my life the way He desires it to and wants to show me!
Oh Father, I do want more of you, to not be distracted by what are very good things so that I miss the very great things you have for me... there is so much to love about you - I want to know it all! Help me focus, and seek your face both in my waking moments, and even as I dream and am at rest in the night. Continually reveal more of your self to me - it can never be enough!

Marisa

Chick Chat with Marisa

The Farmers Markets Return!

If you're like me and LOVE getting the freshest veggies, fruit, pastries, cheeses, and more that are made right here in East TN and stimulate our own local economy then here is a list of East TN Farmers Markets now open!
They are great places to discover local artists too offering crafts, jewelry, clothes, purses and more.

My First Love?

I was reading today's devotional page from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young as I sipped my coffee and it hit home in a powerful way as it always does.
It reflected my immediate thoughts and reaction in the first moments after the storms that ruined my roof, my attic, my ceilings, my things. Hmmmmm... see a pattern emerging here? When our power and daylight returned and as I looked around my first thoughts were so anxiety ridden and focused on ME and what I lost... how would I replace this and that, what will I do, how will MY things be salvaged?
REALLY??? Sheesh. I'm still breathing when so many aren't, when so many lost everything, some even lost loved ones. What I see around me are things. But first and foremost EVERYTHING has come from HIM - EVERYTHING is HIS. If HE allows them to go then so be it. A choice to praise His name, right?

Psalm 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
What if the eternal pleasure His hand desires means we lose some things to acomplish it? Is our path in life not placing our hope and trust in Him?


Today's page for May 3 says this... "You cannot serve two masters. If I am truly your Master, you will desire to please Me above all others. If pleasing people is your goal, you will be enslaved to them. People can be harsh taskmasters when you give them this power over you.
If I am the Master of your life, I will also be your First Love. Your serving is rooted and grounded in My vast, unconditional Love for you. The lower you bow down before Me, the higher I lift you up into intimate relationship with Me. The Joy of living in My Presence outshines all other pleasures. I want you to reflect My joyous Light by living in increasing intimacy with Me."

Here's the thing - I can be a harsh task master to myself - the harshest even - because what I consider a priority can enslave me more easily than anything else.

This may be cliche to some, but oh friends - may we all lean in to an intimacy with Jesus so overwhelming that in any situation, in every aspect of our day, and at every crossroad whatever HE is looking for from us becomes our first choice, that He is our next thought, and that desiring His presence is what overides all else. Praise His Name this day that He loves us with an unfailing love and is the only one who gives and takes away!

Marisa

Chick Chat with Marisa