Really, More Change?

Well, one could think that my life got away from me there for a bit, its been awhile since I have blogged. But God told me to be a little quieter for awhile.
As He does from time to time God stills my hand and I know its for a very specific reason. It usually tells me I need to get ready. Prepare. He is about His business and I must remain alert. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't - like all of us. This time I listened.



I find myself in a very very different place right now for sure.
We are preparing to move from our home (we are still trying to get all sub contractors on the same schedule and ourselves too) to get those $40,000+ repairs done to our house.
My 25 year old son, David, is now a Recruit currently in Marine bootcamp at Parris Island SC, soon to become a part of the Ammunition and Explosive Ordinance Disposal Unit. Ok, really?This is my baby!
And my mom has just transitioned out of time in the hospital into a nursing home for therapy and rehab. I arrived home from a work trip with Todd to a phone call from the ER saying she was there and being admitted with a collapsed lung and more and that I needed to come quickly.
The other day I had to resign from this weekends Esther Experience as the facilitator - after much prayer I realized I just must be where He would have me be and made the very painful decision to not go where my heart had been ready to go.
I may have to also pack up my moms apartment if they say she cant go home again. There are difficult decisions ahead. The kind that can break hearts. Break relationships sometimes.

I really have to laugh here - HA! Had I really gotten to a point where "change" had sort of become an exciting thing in my life? Once I had gotten a little of the 2011 calendar behind me regarding all the changes that came my way at the first of this year, I didn't dread it as much as I had in the past. But exciting? Well, yes. I had.

But now this? When so many of the previous changes haven't been resolved? Now is when even more gets added on?

I do know from past experience that as I have prepared for the things I knew were coming I could sense and see myself letting Him make me stronger. Its easier then right? But it's always the ones that blindside me that cause me to try and circle my own wagons, and make me want to just crawl in bed and deny there is anything even going on. I tend to react that way, at least at first. I want to be left in the darkness alone. Just let me sleep how about it?

But I really don't wan't to be left alone. I don't want that. So after many tears, many cries that feel as if they are being shouted out of the wilderness, I pray. I cling to close friends. And I cling even closer to a God who was not surprised at all by the year I have had so far. He is fighting for me. For my son. For my mom. For my life. And all that encompasses.

He is my protection - "But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard." Isaiah 52:12

He is my Hero and He fights for me - "Let them give glory to the LORD and proclaim his praise in the islands. The LORD will march out like a hero, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies. Isaiah 42:12-13

He leads me along this path I am on - "Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places plain. And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 40:4-5

I am His Princess whom He loves - "You have been set apart as holy to the LORD your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure." Deut. 14:2

I do not know what wonderous and mysterious things He is up to in my life right now. But I do know this - He has been about it since before the foundations of time. And I also believe it is not about me.
He will finish the work He has begun and it will reveal my Christ, my life and those whom it touches will be His Glory - because it's all about Him :)

Marisa

Girl Meets World

When my kids were younger and they were out in the yard with their 'bug-houses' catching fireflies or when I caught my own fireflies in a mason jar with holes punched out of the lid. The day my Dad married Todd and me. Those magical warm summer evenings when I was a kid as the street lights were first flickering on in Sunnyview Subdivision. Seeing my kids see the ocean for the first time.
I'm feeling a tad nostalgic this morning.
And as I drank my coffee I flipped on the TV and the series finale of 'Boy Meets World' was on. They were using a lot of clips and snippets from the 7 years the series ran on the air to make a point of how much things have changed over that time for the characters. How they had grown.
They of course in the very last scene made their way back to the school classroom where we met them for the first time to say their last goodbye.
The last few weeks I've been having these flashes of memories - more so than usual - of points in time of days gone by. And I found myself this morning sitting and crying into my coffee I watched Cory, Shawn, Eric and Topanga reliving theirs. But it was a good cry, you know?
Not that there weren't extremely bad times I have encountered. There were many. And not that the stressful hurtful times in my adult life haven't ever had me longing to return to a 'simpler place in time' - wishing I could run barefoot again with my dog Socks to the neighbors where a game of kickball would be getting ready to begin, and just play and forget what I dont want to deal with.
But today the memories are confirmations. Confirmations that tell me as things change that more good times are to come - they'll just look different.
I am thankful for such poignant points in the timeline of my life. Good and bad.
Girl must meet world after all - now where did I put that mason jar... :)

Joyful on the Journey
Marisa

Are You a But Nazi?

Their immediate response to any thing presented before them or anyone else within earshot is a "but". No matter what there is a perfection never achieved (in THEIR mind) of the given situation whether it involves them or not. And in fact, they seem incapable of not imparting their opinion in these instances. Its like they have diarrhea of the mouth. Yeah, that pun was intended :)

For some reason the But Nazi feels the need to point out what is lacking, what needs to be different, that if we think this is good they know how it could be better - the way it should be. They may think they can argue that hey, they're simply pointing out the 'reality' of the situation. Pointing out the 'facts'. They're 'just sayin'?'

Don't be fooled. If this is you, you are a But Nazi.

I can be honest with you here, right? Ok then. I really dislike dealing with the ongoing, ever present negativity of a persistent pessimist.
Because they can bring me down if I'm not careful.

We each have so much influence over one another. And the fact that someone wastes my time consistently pointing out whats not ideal about their situation or mine really burns my toast to be honest.
Don't get me wrong, we can share our concerns, our burdens if you will with one another. We should. We're here to hold one another up. But in holding one another up and sharing what we feel we are also to glorify the Father and what He is doing!
And when its constantly the opposite of that, when there is never a conversation that isn't perpetually peppered with them poo-pooing everything in some way, that is a person I really begin to dread seeing. I want to turn and head the other direction.
Yep, I just typed that. Because its true. You know what I'm talking about even if you are the But Nazi in question - because no matter how negative you may be you cant stand to hear someone else be that negative!

They say that misery loves company.

I totally understand the need to commiserate - heck, I need to as well from time to time. But Proverbs 27:17 says that "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."

I get exhausted by anything else. By the "Buts", the "what ifs", the "if onlys". To be honest, the But Nazi is offering a disservice to drain their friends emotionally all the time with the need to look at the down side of everything.
And the But Nazi never sharpens anyone - they dull the blade, pour water on the fire of passion, and honestly they are admitting that they don't listen. That what wisdom or encouragement their friend tries to offer them doesn't matter. That what the But Nazi thinks is more important than what their friend thinks.

That kind of gives me an icky feeling in my stomach, you?

There is a verse in that same chapter of Proverbs that you don't hear commented on near as much... Proverbs 27:11 says "Be wise, my child, and make my heart glad. Then I will be able to answer my critics."

Fill those up around you with joy, with the silver linings, with the reminders of the good that is, the brighter side of life, with the blessings that are there each day in each thing. Because when the disasters come, when the tough things that really truly do matter in the grand scheme happen, when the critics are shouting - wouldn't it be much more glorifying to your Creator to have your words be the ones that ring true in the hearts and minds of others that point directly to a God who is sovereign and is truly "working all things together for the good of those that love the Lord'?
They simply don't ring true if in your daily life you don't walk out the fact that you believe that.
Before you get upset with me, I say this because I have had times in my life when I was the But Nazi. I never want to become that person again. I didn't like me then. And I know that I can tend to take on the temperament of those around me. I want to protect myself and others around me.

Let's choose to "Make their hearts glad each day". Let's be one that our friends will run to when times are hard, because they know after we listen with sympathy and understanding, that they can count on us to sharpen them and lift them up. Because they know we will point out what they have to live for, we will remind them that the unexpected rain of the day just helped cool things off, that God is using the trial to strengthen them, that the day may not have ended the way they thought it would but because it didn't they encountered someone God intended for them to. And they will believe it because we walk out what we talk.
Our motto?
"NO MORE BUT NAZIS"

Be Joyful on the Journey
Marisa

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I keep hearing that line from the
David Bowie song in my head that says
"Turn and face the strain, ch-ch-changes...
Just gonna have to be a different man,
Time may change me, But I can't trace time"

They still use it in tons of tv commercials,
so even if you're a bit younger than me
you've probably heard a little of it.






In 15 days my son leaves for Marine Bootcamp, hopefully the $40,000 worth of damage repairs begin finally on our home that have created a bit of unbalance lately, one door I had been wondering about regarding my future has finally closed completely it seems, another door will either swing open or slam shut very shortly I feel, and a personal relationship will either become better than its been in years or deteriorate even more all within the span of one conversation to come soon.
And of course there in the unknown of what tomorrow in itself brings :)

But at the same time I feel the excitement in times like these.

In the pit of my stomach where my flesh battles with uneasiness, where I want to quiet the churning by reciting and singing the familiar songs whose words I know by heart, I also feel the huge wispy wings of the butterflies fluttering against one another that I get when I'm expecting something new, and good, and different, and a sudden peaked interest rises to learn songs with words I don't yet know.

Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you,
He is might to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

I think I'm gonna choose to let Him teach me the lyrics of those new songs He wrote for me before the beginning of time, and that He's singing over me at this very moment. In fact I wanna learn them so I can sing them with Him - at the top of my lungs!


Joyful on the Journey
Marisa

Am I a "Christian"?

We throw the word around pretty freely. As a noun, an adjective, a way of life. But what I continually see is "Christian" and "Christianity" both ridiculed, misused, laughed at, wielded, toted, put on a pedestal, and also become weapons.

My pastor is working his way through the letters to the 7 churches in Revelation as he prepares to lead us into the book of Acts.
I am more than a bit anxious.



See I know we are currently not the church of Christ we are called to be. Because I am not the daughter of God I a called to be.
I soooo get that I am a work in progress, I get that more than you know.
What makes me anxious is the willingness I have or wont have when really put to the test in life - of truly saying I am willing to give myself completely over to the Spirit. Do I truly want to see what He may or may not call me to do, and who He may be asking me to be?
I know that this time will be a huge catalyst for some challenging things to consider as a body of believers and as individuals.
I hope we "Christians" are ready. Ready to see how much we have to change. Ready to experience either so much more of the Holy Spirit we will feel overcome by the weight of it, or ready to see it move on because we aren't willing to see our failure at being the bride we are.
Acts 20:30-31
Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard!

I love my church and God's hand is on it without a doubt. But as my pastor has said many times, God can remove His hand of blessing too. And He will if we aren't willing to ditch the American label we have created of "Christianity" and become the church of Acts we are called to be - living and loving completely by and in the direction of the Holy Spirit.
Acts 2:44-47 All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
What if it was our unity in love and life as believers of Christ that set us apart and not a label we have created?

What if we were so in tune to His Spirit, and loved and served one another so well that we needed no label of "Christianity"?
What if people weren't drawn to a "Christian" and our version of the drop in and drop out mission trip, our old school VBS mode of operation, our recipe for conversion that rarely includes the follow up of then actually doing life together, by our "Christian lingo", or the recited evangelism scriptures we have rehearsed time and time again that come with no previous real conversations, by the track handed out as we canvas neighborhoods only to retreat to our own where we never talk to our neighbors on either side - but they were drawn to being welcomed onto our front porches for friendship, that they were shown compassion through us just being real about our own lives, our own struggles, our own experience of being loved well by God because we decided that there was something to the freedom of living with and for a God willing to go to such lengths for us, by our true concern for human life around us, by our lack of judgement of them, by the fact we actually find reasons to respect them and their differences from us instead of "pitying" them - what if they were drawn to God by being loved by us because we honestly decide we are gonna love and see as He loves and sees?
What would happen if we approached a relationship without even using the word Christian, Christianity, redemption, repentance, judgement, or eternity - and instead we earned the right to eventually go there by loving them so well that they couldn't help but ask us out of an overwhelming curiosity to tell them what makes us different?
What if they didn't call us "Christians"?
What if they just called us "friends"?

Make War!

"Then Esther sent this message to Mordecai: 'Go and gather together all the Jews of Shushan and fast for me; do not eat or drink for three days, night or day; and I and my maids will do the same; and then, though it is strictly forbidden, I will go in to see the king; and if I perish, I perish.'"
Esther 4:15-16 (TLB)

Maybe it sounds cliche, but its never been truer "Love and Life IS a Battlefield"... and today the spiritual warfare that surrounds us has never been more powerful.
In the face of fear, a possible or a looming and certain battle, one that could even mean our own life, how will we react? Do we become paralyzed by panic? Or do we meet it head on with confidence?
What if it requires more than anything before ever has? Do we truly understand who not only has our back, but goes before us and covers us on all sides?

The Esther Experience Oct 7th - 9th is a weekend designed by God to get us battle ready, to meet every obstacle understanding who we are as women, and what unique things our Creator has given us to fight with honor and power over what seeks to destroy us and those we love... Engage, and wage war each and every day under the banner of Jehovah Nissi!

Space is very limited - get registered today at http://www.livingvessels.org

Courageous the Movie - coming this September

I Want Whats Mine

As I drove home from Paducah KY I was contemplating some of the changes in my life recently. I was pondering on the things that at one point brought me feelings of anxiousness, concern, even panic at moments - and to be totally honest still sometimes try to grab at my heart for a few split seconds sometimes when I awake at 2am in the dark of night.
But what I am learning over and over in such grand and small ways is that if those changes had not come to my life, then the new things I am experiencing now would never have touched my life either.
For instance I would not have been able to take time away to join my husband for the last few days on his work related jaunt. A couple of what on the surface could be seen as regular old weekdays by many standards, but that upon closer examination are shown to reveal so much more.

Like an unexpected sweet time of silly road talk, lots of laughter, precious romantic moments with the man I love, finding a beautiful new vacation spot we would love to return to soon because we took a spontaneous side trip along the way, getting to meet singer Jeff Jenkins from The Voice in the middle of the Pancake Pantry in Nashville on the way, seeing a wall of creative artwork along the river in Paducah that uniquely paints the history of a town I mistakenly saw as unassuming before, and seeing many beautiful examples of God's creation all along the way.
Oh, if we could just forget what we think we need or want, and let Him give us what He wants us to have, there is nothing in our wildest dreams that could match the ongoing blessings of receiving what is good and perfectly designed by God for us each... "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9

I want what is mine - from Him - in all its perfection :)

Joyful on the Journey
Marisa

The Start of a Great Week!

Make it a week of purpose... Psalm 37:3-4 Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Decide that whatever comes you will give it to Him immediately, look for the divine appointments that have been set in motion, live in each moment and dont worry bout the next - He is Faithful, seek Him with intensity and ask Him to place in your heart a burning passion for what is His best for you!

Marisa

A Refinement by Any Other Name

In the refining we are cleansed, we are polished, and we are changed...
Zechariah 13:9 I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘These are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’




I am always so thankful and encouraged by how in every season God has placed a few people in my life that are consistantly on a parallel path with me. Yesterday I was chatting with one of them, catching up on life, ministry, a lot of things. And we ended up talking about some similar refinement going on right now and about why we so often only think of a 'refining' as a time of suffering, of pain, a trial, of great change that we in the flesh will see as a dark time. Those are things God does use to grow us and stretch us for sure and how we relate to His suffering.
James1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

But I know that my own refinement also comes from seeking with purpose to fully experience God's Holy Spirit. I DON'T want to wait on the trials or valleys to bring me closer to Him. I know those are a part of what will come when its the perfect time for deep profound life altering truth and change. But I want to run after Him before those come and offer more up of me for DAILY refinement, all the while looking for the lead of love His Holy Spirit offers to draw me closer to who He is and what He wants to do. There is soooo much to be said for the sweeping romance of Him speaking through every relationship, every twist and turn my feet and car take me along, at every store I frequent, every conversation I have, and in every moment He has created :)



I loved the fact that recently my pastor posed the following question when he did: He said "I have asked the question 'How can I get more of the Holy Spirit?' I now believe that the real question should be 'How much of me does the Holy Spirit have?' "
What I sense from God in my life right now is that I MUST seek to give more of myself over in every way DAILY because He has something special in store for me DAILY and I need to be able to see, hear, feel, sense Him at every turn to receive it!

Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.."
Fearless living - that is abundance!

But the biggest thing I am understanding about this? Is that the refining that leads to that life of abundance, the guidance, the wisdom, the right choices, and the change in me He desires, truly does hinge on how in tune I am to His Holy Spirit so I can receive what HE DEEMS as the abundance uniquely planned for me inside of each day.