Saturday, October 15, 2011
Yesterday I had the pleasure of being back live on the radio. I have been blessed to be able to do this with a few different people since what was my fulltime gig ended back on Dec 31st. And each and everytime I realize what a precious opportunity God has provided me once again, even if it's only temporary.
To experience connecting so intimately in such a public way is an incredible mystery to me. I always wonder about whoever He has led to be listening at just that time... what are they going through, what do they need, what one thing may ring true for them, or least make them begin to consider thinking differently about either their situation or that of someone they love? This amazes me.
I remember wondering at times in the past while sharing something in my life, when immediate feedback didn't come, "is this thing on"?
I suppose God feels that way with me quite a bit.
My friend Jenny and I talked yesterday about how sometimes a dream isn't seen fulfilled as we hoped, and how sometimes the waiting seems to bring an answer of 'no' to the prayer you have spent so much time on your knees for. We talked about how we should respond to that. Leaninging in, resting not stressing, positioning ourselves to be ready to receive the next thing He gives us, being all in wherever He has us at the moment, and worshipping Him while we wait.
As I drove home I begin to imagine sometimes God is surely behind His own microphone at times, tapping it with His finger, and looking at me saying "Is this thing even on? Child, do you not hear what I'm desperately trying to tell you? Why can't you be quiet long enough to hear the answer I am offering you in this moment? I have a direction, a path, why won't you pay attention?
"You have seen many things, but have paid no attention; your ears are open, but you hear nothing." Isaiah 42:20
In my car on Magnolia Avenue I began sensing Him speaking deep things to my heart. "How often while I'm trying to do something in your life are you so fixated on what you feel you need most from me that you miss much more important miracles I am trying to work through you? While your heart only see's the muck and mire of your deep fears, I may be offering you more vision than you can imagine. Daughter, you are sometimes so focused on YOUR biggest question that you totally miss MY timeliest answer for what I think is more important".
"My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures." Prov. 2:1-4
It demands action from me - listen, tune my ears, concentrate, ask, search, seek.
If I am tuned in to His spirit, really listening (talking with Him, not at Him), seeking Him in everything around me, then I wont miss anything He is doing or requiring of me to reach HIS next step.
I constantly need to check to make sure I'm not selfishly placing those blinders on again. The ones that cause my vision to become so tunnel shaped I miss HIS bigger vision for my life right now.
And that there is no such thing as 'too frequent' when it comes to getting my hearing checked :)
Hello? Is this thing on?