Saturday, December 25, 2010

Winter Snow

Sitting here on Christmas morning I am a mixed bag of emotions. I am quiet in the moment, realizing how softly (to the world at least), how quietly announced the Christ child's arrival was. Only to a few who watched with eyes and ears and hearts and minds tuned to the cosmos and scriptures understood. The soft coos from the King of Kings lips I am sure soothed the animals back to sleep after His cries as he entered this world shattered the stillness of that night and set them on edge.
But I also feel a churning in my heart with the knowledge of how Heaven and the places in between it and this earth shook with the war of angels and demons to keep Him and His mother safe - and to usher in the deliverance of our Savior! Think of just how closely the evil one must have been watching the events unfold and how frantic he was to stop it!

As I think of the One called Faithful and True, how He will arrive for me one day in His full Glory and Majesty, that He gave up that Glory to become an infant that was inexpressibly Son of God and Son of man in need of food and warmth, as I am... it is beyond my understanding.

But that is, now that I think of it, how I spend most of the days on my journey here - on an exciting swinging pendulum with my God.

I am a back and forth in my thoughts on Him. There are moments of soft murmurs of praise and awe, whispers of love, silent petitions of peace for myself or someone else. Then seemingly within minutes He can reveal Himself in miracles, undeniable grandness, or something rocks me to the core and in the next breathe come my desperate pleas and cries for mercy, movement of mountains, and the question He is big enough to hear and take on Himself - why God????

Moments of quiet sweetness considering the threads He weaves between my life and those around me (and oh my sweet Lord how many go unseen because I am not aware)... slammed up against times of such loud revelations of what He is doing that they demand out loud Hallelujahs from me as He shouts into my life!

I am watching this Christmas snow fall, feeling and hearing the quiet and reverent duet He and I sing to one another. Yet we are also jumping and leaping and dancing with abandonment and joy together, within my heart where He resides this morning!

Merry Christmas Jesus - thank you... its not enough, but Thank You

Dec 25th, 2010

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Been a weird day friends...

Ever have a day that feels at moments like its a combination of deja'vu stirred up with what it must be like to be sleep walking - yet you know you are not? Don't know if that accurately describes what this day has been like for me but I don't know what really would anyway... lets just call it 'very weird' why don't we.
I have actually had moments of great clarity today - moments mind you - but they seem to cloud over almost as quickly as they came. And when it happens its almost as if there is a haze that almost has depth and color too just out of my peripheral vision. I think if I could really see it, it might be a blueish green, swirling in and around and settling almost like a light blanket around me... not necessarily touching me or on me but around me very closely.
I'm sitting here now with the tv on, Mr Pickles lounging on the couch, my hubs Todd in his chair eating a bowl of chili, and I somehow don't feel like I'm really even in the room.
I've tried to think on and consider several things of great importance today. In those moments of clarity I managed to settle a few immediate things and address them.
But the other hazy, cloudy, dreamlike moments far outweigh those, and have been so plentiful I almost question now that the clear moments actually existed :)
It's amazing how God has wired us, with protective measures built in, so that if we stay tuned into ourselves closely enough we can recognize the flags that raise themselves up to warn us. Yep, I think He's telling me to get some sleep, sleep that hasn't been plentiful or come easily lately.
So yes, I see the flag.
I think I will eat a bowl of chili next to Mr Pickles, talk with Hubs for a bit to reconnect from spending this day apart, read Jeremiah 32:40-41, then settle down for a long winters nap.