Saturday, May 2, 2009


There are many types of way to walk with God... but literally walking along side of Him is always awesome!
Last Sunday afternoon some members of my church met on our new property to worship, and prayerwalk the property as we look to break ground in the next few days. It was hot. Humid. Kind of a stagnant feeling in the air - not to mention that we had to come through the neighboring cemetery since the property has no official entrance yet... all together not the most inspirational start some might say - one of those "some" being me at that time :)
We gathered at the parameter as folks were arriving. Chatting, joking, making fun of Alex. We had all been asked to bring shovels, trowels, hoes, etc as we would break the ground first together ourselves. Alex brought a sickle. Yes, a sickle. He stood there holding a huge sickle at the edge of a cemetery looking like a young tall sun glass wearing Grim Reaper - it was hilarious.
Our pastors daughter, Erin, brought a shovel head. Just the head - no handle attached. Also hilarious and worthy of a few jokes at her expense.
We then walked to the highest point of the property as a few members of our praise team lead some acoustic worship songs. Again - it was sunny, hot, and humid. Pastor Scott then began to speak, to share how we got to this point, shared some scripture. As he spoke I felt just a slight change in the air - just a quick wisp of wind. He shared something unexpected for the occasion (seemingly so at first anyway, more on that in another entry later), so my attention began to shift a little. You know, when something just a tad out of the norm happens, you pay a little more attention.
We spread out, broke ground, placed some of the dirt in vials we could take home to pray over on our own and met again on the slight hill.
I looked around as we all came together again. A few goose bumps on my arms rose up.
David and the guitars began again. This time it felt a little different.
God, are you here I asked quietly inside? Are you purposefully here with us?
David and the guys began another song, "How Great Is Our God".
I heard something and looked up. The wind appeared in the tops of the tallest trees closest to us, began to blow to the point of hearing it overhead, above the voices singing. God immediately brought to my heart and mind "My Father takes great delight in me and quiets me with His love and rejoices over me with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Was He singing with me? With us?
As I opened my heart to Him more in that moment, to what He wanted to say to me, that verse and others began to flood over me... He sings over me, He dances over me, His angels are all around me! But not like in that worship song we sing at church sometimes - not this time, because I COULD hear the sound!
As I closed my eyes and raised my voice and my heart to Him the winds increased in the trees, the sound became louder and the winds dropped down lower where I could feel the air meet the perspiration on my skin, on my face and arms and neck.
So sweet was that moment - He's here!
The temperature around us dropped just slightly. Pastor Scott finished by asking us to break up as individuals, couples, groups, however we wished and we were going t saturate and cover the property and pray.
As I took my husband Todd's hand and walked to one side, I asked in my heart "God, will you walk with me a little while, let me hear you just a little longer?"
It was incredible... as we quietly walked praying silently the wind moved over to the side of the property we were on and began to move through the trees next to us! It literally followed us as we walked - blowing through the trees and underbrush and over our parched skin like a cool mist almost... twice we stopped next to the tree line looking out through the dogwoods and red buds on the far edge and it seemed to hover exactly where we were as if waiting in us! I can't speak to what Todd was sharing in that moment with our God - He was having his own in is own personal conversation - but my heart was absolutely bursting in that most precious exchange between me and my Lord!
He told me how much He loved me, desired to be with me, how He wished I knew just how precious I was, and I shared with Him my desire to be with Him more, my prayer not just that our church, but that I myself, would be a city on a hill for Him! The most amazing part about the whole thing? He rejoiced in that encounter with me!
The rest of our time and conversation together I will cherish in my heart - but friends, what a exquisite time I had with Him as we walked and talked.
That's really what He desires - just to simply be alone with us, to talk, share a personal, intimate, and special time that is ours alone.
You know, we spend our lives desperately craving and wanting others on this earth to share that type of relationship with - how is it that we forget so easily that we are created in His image? Why don't we once and for all get the fact that He made us that way because He designed us to have that relationship first with Him? The creator of the universe craves the chance just to tell you how much He loves you! So walk with Him, talk with Him, listen to what He wants to say - there will never be a sweeter voice tell you how much you are loved!

Monday, April 27, 2009

More on Esther and Freedom...

Yes Dear Ones - my heart and soul overflows with what God has done this past weekend!

The book of Esther is a small book, but it is packed full of the goodness of God, the sovereignty… and Esther willingly gave of herself that God could use her to accomplish His will.
Mordecai sent a question to Esther: What is you have been placed here, now, just for such a time as this?”
He knew her answer just as God knows what ours can be - He created us!!!
Sometimes when faced with decisions and scenarios life throws at us our reaction is to look out for ourselves, play it safe, stay silent, just be what others say we are, and to because to take action to change our circumstance means to be outside of what we deem as comfortable, safe, even normal
Then Esther reply was… “If I must die, I am willing.” Esther 4:13-16
What I hope this weekend will be is the beginning of us all learn individually that God knows our character so well that He allows those things in our life to not hold us in bondage but because He knows we have what is takes to handle that thing in such a way that it glorifies Him! If we only trust Him and realize obedience is FREEDOM! What God wants for us right now, in this moment of our lives, to trust him for the truth about ourselves… to begin to hear His voice and what He has to say right now in this moment, and to trust Him to work it all out for our good – that is what the beginning of real Freedom is!
Thank goodness He knows absolutely everything, the outcomes, what’s best for us, - that’s why we can trust Him to have control.
Remember – Esther’s reply was among other things… : “ If I must die, I am willing to die.” Esther 4:13-16
That also means that we always have to decrease, die to our own desires, our own issues - wants, self induced needs….. and we become no less important to Him, even to the world, but we DO become less selfish, less hands on, less prideful, less all about us and more about Him and others so He will be glorified – MORE OBEDIENT TO FREEDOM!
What my prayer is for after Esther is that we all truly learn to hear how precious we are, how wonderfully and fearfully made we are, how worthy, how strong we are and then realize that He is bigger, He is more, He is perfection, He is sovereign, He is worthy of all we have and all we have is straight from Him, that we have been given the freedom to be all He is calling us to be… to realize that its by holding onto the chains with our own hands that we hold ourselves captive, and that NOW is the time to finally be free! LET GO AND RUN IN FREEDOM!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Called to Be Free

There is soooooo much I want to share with you about my time at The Esther Experience! But to do would mean I may ruin it for you if you have never been before, and I want you to go to the next one, so I can't share all I would like...
I will tell you that God met me there in a ways I did not expect. And one way that maybe in the back of my mind I may have anticipated - anticipated because I already knew what I needed to do to address an area of my life that was not as it should be, and I knew in my heart He had been guiding me to so something about it... but as usual I had been in some sort of state of denial where I keep telling Him, "OK - if you really want me to do that then show me a sign". You know what I'm talking about, when you just keep asking for signs even though He has already all but put a giant alarm blaring neon lit up sign in your face that is 20 feet tall?! He had lovingly and gently been gently trying to lead me to the result He wanted. And me? Of course I kept adding one more need of confirmation after another until this weekend at The Esther Experience He just said "OK Girl - you asked for it" and He shouted it so loudly at me that I could not deny it any longer! But He so shouted it with love and an intense passion for me to be free from what was binding me!
The result? It meant I had an extremely difficult thing to reveal to my sweet husband, the man I call my best friend, but the man that I was keeping something from.
Here's a question - why do we always assume the ones that have loved us so unconditionally will react differently than they ever have when we come to them broken and needing them? I knew that my precious husband would love me through it all but I guess the desire to not disappoint him and left me feeling such trepidation at the thought of it all.
As always my God went before me and all I had to do was follow in obedience. As I went to bed that night safe and secure in my husbands love and acceptance I realized that even if he had reacted differently at first that I would have joy - joy in that I had been faithful to follow the leading of the Faithful One who has never failed me. No matter what happens, when we follow His leading we can always rest assured He has a bigger plan that we get to now be a part of! My relief was I think even more in the fact that I finally did what My Lord had asked me to do than even in my husbands holding me and telling me it was ok... such a wonderful blessing in them both though friends I must say.
That my dears is what it feels like to be free... we are called to be free, live free, love free, follow Him freely - true freedom is when we respond faithfully in obedience to God's leading because we finally trust He has our best interest at heart and we no longer have to question it... FREEDOM!!!! So let the chips fall where they may - the lover of our soul is calling!!!!!