Well, I showed my rear end several times over these last few days friends. I just can't put it more simply than that...
have you ever been there?
You know, when as the very words leave your mouth, as the actions of your body language and movements occur, and as that look sets itself up way too easily on your face, you realize that yes, you are in fact showing your hind-end and you just don't seem to be able to stop yourself.
In the middle of these last few days I had a chance to chat with a friend who is struggling with this same issue in a way. Not every day mind you, but more frequently than she cares to, more often than she ever has before in her life. I can relate. Its not every day for me by any means. But I hate it when it happens.
I despise that feeling, even as it happens. Maybe you know what I'm talking about? My face feels flushed. My heart speeds up. My throat seems to want to all of the sudden swallow way more than normal. My ears feel hot. My mouth gets dry. I seem to need to clear my throat, even cough.
Gee - you'd think with all that going on there would be no way I could still manage to sputter out the stupid or mean or hurtful words, the harsh tones, set my hands on my hips, or give THE look... But noooo, I'm a real trooper! I can hang right in there with the best and get the job done!
So, I have some apologies to make. To those in the line of fire, most of all to my God, but not the least of which is to myself. See I've let Satan get a hold of me afterwards even more strongly than he did when it happened. Because for several days I've let him use it against me to make me feel worthless and unlovable. Laying in the dark thinking things like they might never forget my attitude or words or tone, that they might love me less, but most of all that I was less in the eyes of My Jesus.
So tonight I stand on several things my Gods Word tells me, and I am reminded:
We are already God's children, though what we will be hasn't yet been seen. But we do know that when Christ returns, we will be like him, because we will see him as he truly is. 1 John 3:2
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6
And when I feel weary from the heaviness of what I may do:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us Ephesians 3:20
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:15-17
Friends, we are more than a conquerors - we are His! We are being made Holy as He is Holy! He is not through with us yet!